OOPS! Completely forgot to update my blog last week. Sorry!!! I've been super busy with work. And also getting back to training! So last week, I tried my first group class since my first surgery at the gym I used to train. I was a little anxious as I didn't know what to expect, and I was a little afraid that I wouldn't feel ready to be there. My husband and my friend Kim came as well, and it was their first time ever! It went super well. I knew I had to respect my limitations (which includes no plyometrics, or cutting) and pay close attention to how my hip reacted. I made sure to modify all the things that would go against my rules...for example, instead of doing jumping jacks I did core work instead. I'm still doing private sessions once a week, and last week we tried new things like 65lbs deadlifts and elastic assisted pull ups. Hit the group session tonight again! When I arrived, I could hear the previous group saying how TOUGH it was, how they had trouble walking and holding their arms up. I was a bit worried...worried it would be too intense for my hip...but I reminded myself that I simply need to go at my own pace and adapt things if needed. So the circuit tonight was: 15 reps + 5 burpees at every station, 4:30 per station, no breaks in between. The great news is that my PT gave me the OK to "jump" down into pushup position, and then back up to get on my feet (no jump once fully extended though) so I was able to do this setup! I modified two stations: - Supposed to do hurdle jumps - changed to backward alternating lunge - Supposed to do V Crunches - changed to different core work V crunches (and any dynamic flexion-extension movement at the hip) causes snapping and it really doesn't feel great...so I'm still avoiding this at all costs. Not sure what it is...probably the tendon going over the bony prominence. I just hope eventually this goes away so I have no limitations! So in general, my right hip has been doing well. I've been dealing with barely any pain. On the weekend, I went to see two music shows - both were standing - and it almost felt normal. My main problem is lacking endurance...so after a while I had to move. I'm still dealing with some anterior tightness, especially when I walk a lot.
My left though. My left :( I feel it has considerably gotten worse. I now deal with so much tightness after barely doing anything. It's been painful (3/10) almost everyday. My PT isn't too concerned right now. He said that objectively, there isn't any reason to jump on surgery at this point. We just started treating the left. I also have exercises to strengthen my glutes on that side...and have to make sure to stretch diligently. He reminded me that my left has compensated a lot during my entire recovery...and since my right will take up to a year to get close to 80-90%, my left will be working overtime. So the plan right now is to treat the left in physical therapy. Strengthen. For me to work weddings during the entire season, get back in the gym and see how things will go. I hate not knowing what is coming. Blah. I will also talk about it with Dr. Nho in three weeks. He did confirm a labral tear and FAI on that side...but this doesn't mean I should jump on the surgery train right away. Anyway, I should go to bed...I'm exhausted from tonight's workout! I hope y'all hips are doing good! xoxo
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Where does time go?! Seven months?! Hip surgery definitely feels closer than 7 months ago. But then I look at where I am now, and seven months makes a lot of sense. It sometimes felt SO long. SO slow. There was setbacks. The process is not over yet. There's still a work ahead. But I must say that I've been feeling more alive than ever in the past two-three weeks. Being able to get back to the gym (out of PT exercises) has been game changing. I finally feel like I'm finding my old self back. Today I had a private session with Val and we did: 3x 20 controlled deep squats 30s heavy bag drills 3x 10 cal rowers 10 overhead sandbag pull (light bag) 20 hamstring curl on swiss ball 2x (I was timed. Was able to beat my time on the second round!) 20 18" box single leg step up R + L 20 10lbs slamball 20 pushup on inverted bosu ball 20 TRX pulls 20 8lbs dumbbell thruster 20 full sit ups 3x 30s posture with elastic band 30s pec stretch R 30s pec stretch L Lots of lower body stretching Damn! Val kicked my butt! I was sooooo out of breath. She found it pretty hilarious and laughed at me the whole time. She kept a close eye during the whole workout to make sure that I was doing the exercises correctly. She also made sure nothing was ever painful, and brought modifications if ever it was. Felt so good. My cardio was what I struggled most with. I realized that my old self was back, as she would suggest me taking a break to catch my breath, but I just kept going. The competitive me! I did take breaks for my hip though. It was so darn beautiful out today! Val and I went for lunch (and a little shopping!) and it felt really good to spend time with her. We stopped at Lululemon and I scored a pair of leggings and a tank top...both on sale! BOOM. I'm part of the r&d team as I used to teach...so I always appreciate the 15% discount! Oli was a bit discouraged when he saw me arrive with my Lulu bag. hahaha. But hey, I wanted to treat myself with new gear for all these new workouts ahead :) Yesterday I had PT (still go once a week) and my PT was happy about my current ROM and strength. Yay! He said it's never been as good as now. Encouraging! Came home and was in a lot of pain...which got worse and worse. By the time I went to bed, it was so bad that I couldn't fall asleep. I had taken Advil, with no change. I had to resort to dilaudid, which magically worked. I'm seeing Dr. Nho in a month, and I will ask him about medication to control pain. I wonder if taking Norco or Dilaudid is too strong for where I am in my recovery. Or if it's OK, as long as it's only used once in a while.
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now...I'm so exhausted! Tomorrow I have to get up extra early so I can get a gym session done before going to work at 9am. OUCH. Hope you're all doing great!!! Where does time goooooo?!?!?! Can't believe it's already Thursday. I feel like I updated this thing yesterday! 30 This morning I had my second private training session! Super excited! Not so excited about the fact it was at 7:30am though. Oh boy. My body and brain do not function well at that hour.
Today I trained with Val, who's one of my great friends from my gym. She's amazing. She's super sweet, but under that sweetness hides a tough, strong, inspiring girl. She's a kinesiologist, and is currently studying to become an osteopath. Was in great hands! Today was: - 4 minute rowers 3x - 40s battle ropes - 10 x one leg squat R + L - 30 side steps with rubber band - 20 TRX pulls 3x - 10 sledge hammer on tire R + L - 10 squats with 10lbs sand bag on shoulders - 4 prowler pushes 3x - 10 push press - 10 push up tap-out - 10 hamstring curls on swiss ball 10 minute stretching My arms were JELLO. Omg. I could barely complete the pushups. I could even barely hold my phone for this photo! It seriously feels so good to be back in the gym. Even though I can't do any plyometrics yet, and can't lift heavy...it almost feels as if I was back to normal. Just because I haven't done all these things for so long. I'm super out of shape...my cardio is crap compared to what it used to be, but the good news is that it's all forward from now! I'm probably going to ask my PT if I can slowly integrate group classes. The Wednesday 9pm class is smaller than the other classes, so I feel it would be a good place for me. This way I'd be able to concentrate on myself without feeling pressured to do more. Today I also had a 3 hour engagement shoot, and even though I struggled from time to time (without showing it to the couple, of course), I must say that I'm surprised about how well it went. I even went for a 30 minute walk with my dog and besides feeling a ton of tightness, there wasn't real particular pain. I'm mega tired though. Tomorrow I'm working at the clinic and am going to work with patients all day long. It's my first time since surgery, so I'm a bit nervous. Keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes well. I need to go to bed, I start at 7:30am!!! UGHHHHH!!!! GUYS! GUYSSSSSS. Yesterday was the day! I trained at my old gym for the first time since my first hip surgery. I was so nervous. More nervous than when I was heading into surgery. Seriously! I was wondering if I should cancel my appointment. On my way there, I kept telling myself that I could still turn around and go back home. I felt so out of my place when I arrived. I told my coach/friend that I felt super nervous. My PT gave him a call today to go over the things I can and cannot do. No plyometrics, not yet anyway. He wanted us to work a lot on glutes, core. And there I had it, my first training back! We did: 4 min rowers warm up tabata 20s battle ropes 10s rest 20s plank on swiss ball 10s rest x4 10 sumo squat + tire flip 10 prowler back & forth x4 10 10lbs KT swing (shoulder height) 20 pushups on TRX 30 bicep pull on TRX 40 reps ab work x2 2 min boxing 5 min stretching I was soooo out of breath. Oh man. It's not even funny! What really surprised me is how motivation makes a HUGE difference in fatigue perception. When I go to the gym on my own to do my PT stuff, I can barely reach 2 minutes. Yesterday, I was able to do 4 minutes without any pain. The hip did feel tired by the end, but nothing was painful so it really surprised me that I was able to go for double longer than what I usually do. I made sure to always take the time to engage my core and glutes before each movement. To listen to my body. My coach knows me well...we started working together years ago, and he knows how hard-headed I am, and how proud I am. I'm super competitive, especially with myself. If I was told I couldn't hold a 2 minute plank, I would do a 2 minute 10 second plank. I'd want to train like the boys. So yesterday, as I was pushing the prowler, he asked how I was doing, how my hip felt. I kept pushing, and said "good". He replied "pretty sure you'd say good no matter what". And this is when I realized that my mindset had changed. Right now, I know I have to respect my limitations. I know that I've worked too hard all these past few months to jeopardize all the effort in one training session. I want to keep moving forward, not back. So when I said good, it was because I was really, really ok. I'm really excited. It really is a new chapter in this recovery. I know there's still a long way to go...but this gave me the nudge to keep my motivation up. As soon as I got home, I iced for 30 minutes and took some Celebrex, just because I knew my hip would be irritated by all the activity it's not used to doing. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good! I then had dinner with a few of my closest friends, pre-birthday celebrations! The food was amazing...we had salmon belly sashimi, bbq pork on crispy ramen, karaage, and several shots lol. I don't go out often, but when I do, there's always shots involved hahah. Nothing starts the evening better than some sake bombs! When I say sake you say BOMB! I had such an incredible day. So happy! We even got to ride a Tesla Taxi on our way back. Montreal has this cool new taxi system where the cars are all electric. The prices are exactly the same as a regular taxi, there's an app, the drivers are super nice. It's really a cool company. I'm now anti-Uber...with all the controversy, and the fact there's so much corruption with people not paying their taxes. Teo Taxi is such a great alternative...and our driver was cool enough to show us Insane Mode hahaha. Holy crap that car goes fast. Got home and my hip was done. Training, and then sitting on the tiny hard wood stools was a lot. Good news is, this morning I feel great! Well, besides feeling SO sore. UGHHH! It actually feels good to feel this again. Hurray!
I hope those who read this are all doing great. Don't be shy to comment, give me some news, anything! It's always nice to know who's reading! Happy weekend! Ha! 10 minutes before midnight...it's still Wednesday! I had a really rough week. Complete lack of motivation, and actual discouragement. I've been working so hard for the past year and a half, in the gym almost every single day doing the exercises I'm supposed to do. So much effort with not enough payback (in my own opinion) I sat on the bike and started tearing up. Just was so sick of sitting there, pedalling like I've pedalled before. 10 minutes seemed like an eternity, and I looked at the timer every few seconds hoping I'd finally hit 15 minutes. I'd skip some strengthening exercises. Shorten my reps. Stretch faster. I knew - deep down - that acting this way is a disservice to myself but I couldn't help it. I skipped one gym day, then two, then three. I did go on walks though. A long one with Oli and Monsieur B on Sunday. Then spent the day relaxing. Felt nice. But every two nights or so I'd go to bed crying my eyes out. My poor husband tried to comfort me the best he could by being a great listener, and trying to make me focus on the big picture. But I was just...I was done.
Skip to today. I had an appointment with my PT, and again, broke down the second I was asked how I was doing. And that's when I'm so grateful to have such an amazing pt. He listened, and understood where I'm coming from. And reassured me that my hip is where it's supposed to be at this stage. That my ROM is good. That my hip will react when I will do activity, possibly up to a year after surgery. That this surgery is a long one to get through. Just those words felt so reassuring. It was nice. But the best was when he told me my hip is now ready to get back to some of my old training. WHAT?!?!!!!! Ok, like...my face was all calm and whatnot, but inside I was freaking the f out. Like, what? Repeat that please? So I called my friend, who's the kinesiologist who owns the gym where I used to train at. I announced the AMAZING news and he was so happy! He and my pt will talk together so there's an action plan, and so I'm sure that I will be doing exercises that are safe for my hip. I.am.FREAKING OUT. Could not have better news. Battle ropes? YES I CAN DO THAT. Push the prowler? THAT TOO. Omgomgomgomg. I can already hear some of you saying "BE CAREFUL" and "DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD" no worries. I worked so hard to come up to this point that the last thing I want is to mess everything up, and have a setback. I think I've become a pro at listening to what my body is saying over all this post op time, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do that in the gym. Next Thursday is my appointment! Someone pinch me, this is not happening for realz. Anyway, my week went from being terribly terrible to amazingly amazing. I also received my photos from a project I'm participating in. Where I'm the subject. I HATE being the subject. My face is meant to be behind the camera, not in front. But this is an amazing project. It's called This Body of Work. Look it up. It was eye opening for me, as I've had a ton of mixed feelings about my own body over the past two years. I've gained weight, have been unkind to myself about it. This project made me take a step back and realize that we only have one body in this life, and that we should treat it nicely. Yes, I want to get back to my pre-surgery weight. Yes, I will probably feel better in my own skin then. But I need to learn to not hate the skin I'm in now. Davina, who is my friend and an amazing photographer, completely blew my mind with the photos she took of me. They are going to be in the project in the next few months, but here is a portrait she took, and I feel a shift in the way I see myself. It will be a process, I need to keep reminding myself that focusing on the positive will be much more rewarding than the opposite. I'm excited for the project to come out, as the other photos she took of me are crazy. Crazy awesome. But yeah, here's a teaser until then! Bonne nuit! I think I'm going to change my blog update day to Thursday haha. I've been terrible at staying on track. Can't believe how fast the week goes by. I just watched two hours of Grey's Anatomy (don't judge) and thought to myself "oh crap, Grey's is on Thursday...and I forgot to post!!! Speaking of time flying by...hello SIX MONTHS POST OP. It really doesn't feel like six months. On one hand, I've progressed tons (hopefully soon going to enter phase IV of Dr. Nho's protocol) but at the same time, I feel like the surgery was a month ago. I'm still unable to do any of the sports I did pre-op. Besides a little spin bike...but only when I'm alone. I know I would not be able to trust myself in a group setting. I'm way too competitive (with myself and others) to fully listen to my body and respect it's limitations. Put a ton of eagerness, people, upbeat music all together and I am for sure pushing harder than supposed to. I was just telling a fellow hip patient I met in Chicago, it's weird how one day I feel that I'm SO close to getting back to sports. And then the next, I sit on a chair without engaging my core, causing terrible pain that not even Norco can solve. Sitting. On. A. Chair. Clearly, if I can't sit on a chair without creating a lot of pain, I'm not ready for box jumps, burpees and hitting some pads. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm starting to feel as if I will never get back to being active. I gained a crap load of weight since surgery...and when I'm feeling down I tend to eat even more. Vicious cycle. But yeah, it's hard to imagine the day I will live a life that is somewhat similar to pre-injury life. June? July? October? Next year if my left hip ends up needing surgery as well? The uncertainty right now is a big downer. I try not to think about it too much. I keep busy with work. This past week has been crazy. I've been running all over the place, so much that I'm dealing with tension headaches. Ughhhhh. But, it's not all bad vibes. I'm trying to focus on the good things my hip is doing. Like how this week, for the first time in two years, I was able to hold a two minute plank. I don't like planks but... Technically I should be returning to Dr. Nho around this time for my 6 months follow up. I decided to push it by a few months. This way, I'll be able to shoot weddings and see how the hip reacts. If all hell breaks loose, at least I can talk to him about it. Anyway, I'm hoping by then, all the effort in the gym will have paid off and that I will be fine working long hours in ninja-like positions. It's FINALLY going to start being nice outside, and I can't wait! It's going to be so nice walking by the Canal with Monsieur B. More walking for him is also good for me.
Anyway, I'm half falling asleep and I have Pilates at 8 tomorrow MORNING. That is way too early for my body to be doing anything other than sleeping, or drinking coffee. Should be interesting. Goodnight! Hola hola!
Hmmm, nothing really new this week. I don't know if it's the weird weather or just some randomness, but my hip has been a bit more achey than usual. Nothing unbearable though. I've taken NSAIDs a few times, but usually ice does help a lot. I started upping the weights, and doing less reps to get more strength, and it went fairly well! Took 25lbs in each hand for reverse lunges. 35lbs for sumo squats. 20lbs one leg deadlift. I don't know when I will be able to start agility drills. I'm starting to get impatient. I feel things are going well, and I wish I could just upgrade in all my exercises. I know that it needs to be gradual, as anything too soon can create more setbacks than anything. I still have trouble walking over 10K steps per day, so I guess box jumps and burpees are not recommended at this point lol. I realize life dynamics change when you have surgery. Before, I used to work out 5-6x/week at the gym, and even gave classes there. I made amazing friends, and would see them very often. We'd go out for dinner, go for sporting activities. They're so amazing that they've continued to invite me to dinners. And I always LOVE seeing them. But there's a problem with me. I feel left out. It's not that they're leaving me out, it's just that my perception of the situation is very hard to live with. To sit there and listen to their conversations on how hard the last workout was, or how excited they are for the next challenge, it's just hard because I used to take part of those things. And I haven't in over two years now. Last time I had supper with them, I came home and cried. I know they'd feel terrible if they knew, and I don't want want them to feel bad about it. Because the world doesn't evolve around me. It's normal that they keep talking about those things. It's their reality. And don't get me wrong, I know someday I will go back and everything will fall back into place. But right now, I just think that their reality is not my reality. I remember going through these emotions during my first recovery. I was doing my exercises at PT, and the occupational therapist (who I loved!) noticed that I wasn't feeling so good. She asked what was wrong and I told her the exact same thing I wrote here tonight. And her answer was so comforting, and I think about it every time I feel this way. She said that my gym friends and I are not living the same reality now, but we will someday in the future. And that now, my gym friends may not be my "family"...but that people like her are now my family. My whole perception changed. Thanks to physical therapy, I've had the chance to meet amazing people. Just like her. I still keep in touch with her via Facebook, and I'm sure we'd have a great time if we went out for a drink! She'd often come talk to me about her wedding planning while I'd be doing my squats or stretching. Fast forward to today. I'm in the care of two physical therapists, and I'm extremely grateful for the both of them. They're completely different - personality wise and technically - but I truly enjoy their company. I'm a passionate person, and I love working with people who are as passionate in their jobs as I am with photography. I always love watching them work, and without them I'd be nowhere near where I am in my rehab right now! I must say, I hit the jackpot in terms of physical therapists lol. Two amazing ones here in Montreal, plus another in Chicago. To think that some people don't even the chance of having ONE good PT! Since I've been spending time in the gym at PT, I met with a fellow patient going through weekly treatments. We've slowly gotten to know each other...me on the bike, and her doing strengthening exercises as she ruptured her Achilles tendon. She recently added me on Facebook, and last week asked if I'd be interested in going to see a Montreal Impact soccer game with her. How fun! This reminded me, my life, my reality...it will change through time. The people I meet in each different phase won't disappear...they're simply put aside for a certain time. They still hold the same place in my heart. But having these reality changes allows me to meet different people, people I would have never met otherwise. And it's focusing on these things that will keep me sane. Bonne nuit! xo Wait, what, it's already Thursday!? I'm so confusedddddd. The days off work due to Easter weekend had me thinking today was Wednesday. Sorry for the lack of update! Last week was overall good, until TOM came. I've been one grumpy cat in the past few days, and my hip has been achey since Tuesday. I've been taking Celebrex and it's been helping. Ugh. Darn female hormones! In exactly two months, I will be shooting my first wedding of the season. I'm a bit nervous, as those 10-12 hour days running all over the place with heavy equipment are hard on the body, even when you've had no hip surgery. I've been walking everyday with Monsieur Bailey, trying to increase distance so that I can build endurance. I did 7km on Tuesday, plus training at the gym in the morning, and my hip was semi-happy about it. I iced in the evening, but still it felt tight the next day. I had PT yesterday morning. One HUGE improvement has been my trunk's mouvement. It has been SO tight in the past few months, to the point my PTs would say "oh boy" when testing how far I can twist on each side. I was trying to stretch, foam roll and even had some work done on it in PT, but it never seemed to improve much. Last week, my PT added a new exercise: lunge and twist w/ the pulley. It's been day and night...it really seems this gave me the amplitude I was lacking so much! Feels so good. My exercises remain the same so: - Bike / Rowers (alternate between two to avoid fatigue) - Sumo squat - One leg deadlift - Backward lunge + Side lunge - Lunge and Twist with pulley - Planks - Superman - Turkish Get Up - 1/2 kneeling 3-way stretch - Rolling the ball (glutes) - Rolling pin (IT band, quads) The main difference is now I'm going to have days where I really up the weights, do less reps so I can build strength. This is going to be new, so I'm looking forward to see how my hip will react. Overall, I'm still happy with how things are going. My boss at the clinic recently told me "you must be so tired of this" but to be honest, it's really not that bad. I'm seeing improvements as the weeks go by, and there's finally hope that I'll be able to get back to a non-painful, functional hip in the future. My hip has even been less tight in PT, so much that this week's session I only had dry needling in my LEFT hip. Hurray! Well, not hurray for my left hip. But hurray for the right! The left well...whatever. Anyway, I have to go home, have dinner, and hit the gym! Hope y'all having a great week! Hello hello! Ever since I had my first surgery in 2014, I've been hearing hip patients say "You'll see, you'll someday turn a corner!" and never really understood what that meant. I don't want to get ahead of myself, or jinx it, but I feel that this week has been the best I've had in a long time. Sara (Dr. Nho's PA), just a few weeks ago, told me that anterior hip tightness is still to be expected at this point in my recovery, and that most patients just one day wake up and it's gone. I can't say it's completely gone, but it is SO much better. Even dry needling wasn't THAT bad this week! It was almost enjoyable, said no one ever lol It's not easy to do my exercises with the new family member in the house! The second I rolled out my yoga mat, Monsieur Bailey grabbed his toy and started drooling all over the place. Every time I stepped on it, he jumped on me to lick my face. Haha. So now I try to do all my stretches and planks at the gym, it seems it's the only way to get them done for now! This weekend, I spent part of my day hanging out with niece Corinne. We went shopping, girl time! I asked her where she wanted to go, and it was so cute that she didn't know. I gave her a few suggestions, including going to build-a-bear...and the second I said those three words, she jumped up in the air with excitement. We got there, and she immediately chose the black lab stuffed animal, naming him "Monsieur Bailey". She was so proud to have him, introducing her plush dog to her family, and apparently bringing it to school today! So cute. I then brought her to Menchies, introducing her to frozen yogurt. Her sister is allergic to milk, so they can't really go to ice cream places. She was pretty stoked, I think she put 20 maraschino cherries in her bowl! On Sunday, I went over friend's house to babysit their almost-two-year-old. Max is always so much fun. I was a bit nervous because watching a toddler can be a lot for the hip...playing on the ground, picking him up, etc etc...but everything went well! I made sure to always engage my core, use my glutes, and take some time to rest a bit too (while watching Caillou with him snuggled up to me...heart melting!). Made me realize how it must be hard to have children when going through the early months following hip surgery. A fellow Nho-patient who just had surgery told me that he's not allowed to pick up his son and daughter for at least four months. It must be SO hard. This is what's always on my mind...and I wonder if I should move forward with left hip surgery sooner rather than later. I want to have a baby eventually/soonish, and I feel it would be easier to go through recovery now. But then I wonder, is my hip bad enough? Will it be worth it? It's still early to tell, and I'm far from being back to normal with my right anyway. Once it will be all healed up (who knows when...), and that I will be back shooting intensively + training...I will be able to make a clearer decision. On Monday, I had an appointment with a new local orthopedic surgeon. Before having surgery with Dr. Nho, my physiatrist recommended I see her for my possible revision. I was then placed on her waiting list, and received a call last week. Clearly a lot of stuff happened since then, but I decided to go anyway to have her opinion on my left hip, and to see if she could help me get my revision covered by the government. I sat in her office, explained my timeline and brought up my left hip. But then she informed me that she cannot operate on patients over 20 years old. She was very apologetic, and I could tell she was frustrated she couldn't help me further. She recommended I see Dr. Belzile in Quebec City, who's list I'm already on. Dr. Millis in Boston had referred me to him when he confirmed mild dysplasia a few months ago. Dr. Belzile studied under him, and he's one of the top dysplasia specialists on the east coast. The whole point was so that I have someone IN CASE the hip scope fails due to dysplasia. And then, I could consider PAO. Obviously I'm crossing my fingers I never have to get to that point (look it up on Google if you don't know what it is, the photos are pretty traumatizing!)
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a letter saying I had to go to the states for surgery. She said that she's 400% sure it would be denied as hip arthroscopy is practiced here in Quebec. I mentioned labral reconstruction, and capsular plication, and she informed me that she and Belzile both practice those recent techniques. WHERE WERE THESE PEOPLE WHEN I NEEDED THEM IN 2014??? I asked her if she is ever going to be able to help adults with FAI...she said, most probably not. After a few questions, I think I understood. Surgical mafia. I'm pretty convinced the surgeons who do surgery in Montreal ganged up together to keep OR times for themselves, forcing her to withdraw from adult hip preservation surgery. I was at loss of words. This amazingly sweet, empathetic, COMPETENT for what I know of a surgeon can't even reach out to patients in need. I wasn't really disappointed to not have a letter to have my surgery reimbursed, it was a long shot to begin with...but finding out this? I walked out, almost feeling more bad for her than for me, as she repetitively apologized for not being able to help me further. Luckily, teenage patients are able to get surgery with her. I'm sure they're in great hands. At this point, comes the question: left hip surgery with Dr. Nho, or Dr. Belzile? Dr. Nho is my surgeon, I trust him, I know how good he is with this kind of surgery. But it would also mean another 20-25K. Dr. Belzile is probably one of the best dysplasia/PAO specialists, but is he as good with hip scopes? Guess I'll cross the bridge when I get there. In other news, I booked my flight for my 6 month follow up! It's actually going to be 7.5 months, as I preferred to shoot a wedding before seeing Dr. Nho. Just in case things don't go so well, so I can hear what he has to say about it. Hopefully all will be good though! I'm going for a few days and will be meeting up with my friends again, so it's exciting. My goal is to visit less touristy areas this time. It'll be so nice to visit in the summer! Alright...I'm sleepy. Bonne nuit! Well well well, what have we got here? Five months post-op! This week I walked to work once...total of 5km. It went pretty well. My main annoyance at this point is really the anterior hip tightness. Each step is almost always super stiff, and somewhat painful :/ I love to look at Facebook's "On This Day", sometimes my past posts make me laugh, sometimes they make me realize that I have really irrelevant status updates haha. The other day, I got this one: It was an update about the first orthopedic surgeon I saw concerning my hip pain. 2014. The guy was terrible. He didn't look at my XRs/MRI, barely examined me and simply said "your MRI report says you have a labral tear, I don't treat those, I'm referring you to someone who does" Boom. 7 month wait for a 6 minute consult that barely gave me any info on why I was in so much pain. I only heard back from this referral several months later, AFTER I had seen the surgeon who first operated on me. Oh well. It's all part of my journey. Oh Hai! Hello puppy! This is my brand new puppy!!! We adopted him on Monday at the SPCA. He's a 2 year old black lab/golden retriever mix and we love him! We had a bernese mountain dog, but she passed away about a year ago. I'm so happy to have this dog, I now have a reason to go out for walks! I really need to get more endurance as I will be soon shooting weddings, and weddings = 10 hour days running all over the place with heavy gear. I've been going on long walks with him and it's so much fun! I'm also hoping he will help me shed the extra pounds I got since surgery. He also needs to lose weight so hopefully we can do it together! He's super sweet. He lays his head on my lap when I'm chilling, and he seems truly happy to be in our home. Heart explosion! Hip wise, things are going good I guess. I feel I've been stuck at the same place for a while. Or that I'm not much better than earlier PO. I remember having days with NO pain, or barely any pain, fairly quickly after surgery. Now, there's this nagging acheyness that's there every other day. I know it's because I'm much more active than at the beginning. I'm pushing and doing harder exercises. I'm back to work, sitting, standing, driving, etc etc. And this probably puts a lot of stress on the hip. All I can do is trust the process and remind myself that Dr. Nho said 6 months to one year. Trust the process and trust what my PTs are telling me. Yesterday, we tested going up/down stairs, and having my op leg go down slowly, and I was told there's much less hesitation than before. More control, yay! My nerve has calmed down, and I haven't had any numbness this week. So yeah, things are getting better. I'd be lying to say I don't have any doubts from time to time. Wondering if I should have gone with revision or not. Would I have been better off if I never had surgery in the first place? I'm annoyed to still be in pain at 5 months post-op. But then I remember how much pain I was in before...and it was way worse than what I'm going through now. I remember our trip in Spain last summer. After walking all day through Granada, I came back to the apartment with horrible deep burning pain. No matter what I did - stretch, change positions, ice...nothing would make it better. I knew that I would never want to limit my traveling. Shooting weddings was becoming more and more difficult...where I had to sit and stretch several times during the reception, as well as pop NSAIDs morning and night. And training...well I'd have to modify what I was doing so much that there was almost no point in me going anymore. So I'm on the right path. It's just a long, long, LONG path. Last night, I was in a lot of pain. Not quite sure why...but I could barely stand myself, and ice wasn't helping at all. I decided to take some Norco and tadaaaa, it all magically disappeared. But with the advantage of no more pain, comes with the disadvantage of nightmares. Each time I take Norco, I have crazy vivid nightmares. And what's weird is that the nightmares always occur quickly after I fall asleep. They're always SUPER detailed dreams, more surreal than anything I've ever had before. It's strange, as we dream during REM sleep, which is about 90 minutes after you fall asleep. But these...these are always 15-20 minutes after I fall asleep. I'd really be interested to know what happens neurologically for opiates to have such an effect on the brain, and its sleep patterns. Anyway, neuro nerd aside, last night's was so messed up I wish I could have a recording of it!
I walked in a room, it was empty, and I could tell it was the end of the world. I was scared, because I knew zombies could attack me at any time. But then my dream-self remembered that I could do whatever I wanted with the power of thought, so I simply flew away, and then I was safe. Then, my dream-self decided to go into the ocean by Australia. I could breathe under water. And I wanted TONS of fish. Boom, tons of fish appeared. But then I was grossed out because they were slimy and kept getting caught in my fingers. So I asked for less fish, boom, half the fish disappeared. Then I was sick of the ocean so I went in warm lake. And then I was walking on the moon. HAHAH. SERIOUSLY. Opiates are messed up!!! Or my brain is? And it's weird because I woke up in a panic and was afraid to fall back to sleep...but it's not like the dream was really that scary. Anyway. ALL THIS TO SAY...I need to remind myself to trust the process, and acknowledge the fact that I am progressing, even if it's slow. I really hate not knowing what's going to happen in the future: when I'm going to be 100%, IF I'm going to be 100%, will I get surgery on my left? If so, when? How long will that take? Will I need PAO on my right after all this trouble? I'm the type of person that needs to be in control of things, but obviously I can't in situations like these. So I need to keep working hard to put all the chances on my side. And whatever happens, I will deal with when I get there. Alright, going to go pet my fur-baby now...have a nice day! |
AuthorMy name is Marie-Christine. I'm 34 years old and live in Montreal, QC, Canada. I have had two failed hip scopes on my right hip to do undiagnosed hip dysplasia. My amazing surgeon, who is in Quebec City, performed periacetabular osteotomy in November 2017. He also did one left hip scope (non dysplastic) in February 2017. Archives
May 2018
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