Ha! 10 minutes before midnight...it's still Wednesday! I had a really rough week. Complete lack of motivation, and actual discouragement. I've been working so hard for the past year and a half, in the gym almost every single day doing the exercises I'm supposed to do. So much effort with not enough payback (in my own opinion) I sat on the bike and started tearing up. Just was so sick of sitting there, pedalling like I've pedalled before. 10 minutes seemed like an eternity, and I looked at the timer every few seconds hoping I'd finally hit 15 minutes. I'd skip some strengthening exercises. Shorten my reps. Stretch faster. I knew - deep down - that acting this way is a disservice to myself but I couldn't help it. I skipped one gym day, then two, then three. I did go on walks though. A long one with Oli and Monsieur B on Sunday. Then spent the day relaxing. Felt nice. But every two nights or so I'd go to bed crying my eyes out. My poor husband tried to comfort me the best he could by being a great listener, and trying to make me focus on the big picture. But I was just...I was done.
Skip to today. I had an appointment with my PT, and again, broke down the second I was asked how I was doing. And that's when I'm so grateful to have such an amazing pt. He listened, and understood where I'm coming from. And reassured me that my hip is where it's supposed to be at this stage. That my ROM is good. That my hip will react when I will do activity, possibly up to a year after surgery. That this surgery is a long one to get through. Just those words felt so reassuring. It was nice. But the best was when he told me my hip is now ready to get back to some of my old training. WHAT?!?!!!!! Ok, like...my face was all calm and whatnot, but inside I was freaking the f out. Like, what? Repeat that please? So I called my friend, who's the kinesiologist who owns the gym where I used to train at. I announced the AMAZING news and he was so happy! He and my pt will talk together so there's an action plan, and so I'm sure that I will be doing exercises that are safe for my hip. I.am.FREAKING OUT. Could not have better news. Battle ropes? YES I CAN DO THAT. Push the prowler? THAT TOO. Omgomgomgomg. I can already hear some of you saying "BE CAREFUL" and "DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD" no worries. I worked so hard to come up to this point that the last thing I want is to mess everything up, and have a setback. I think I've become a pro at listening to what my body is saying over all this post op time, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do that in the gym. Next Thursday is my appointment! Someone pinch me, this is not happening for realz. Anyway, my week went from being terribly terrible to amazingly amazing. I also received my photos from a project I'm participating in. Where I'm the subject. I HATE being the subject. My face is meant to be behind the camera, not in front. But this is an amazing project. It's called This Body of Work. Look it up. It was eye opening for me, as I've had a ton of mixed feelings about my own body over the past two years. I've gained weight, have been unkind to myself about it. This project made me take a step back and realize that we only have one body in this life, and that we should treat it nicely. Yes, I want to get back to my pre-surgery weight. Yes, I will probably feel better in my own skin then. But I need to learn to not hate the skin I'm in now. Davina, who is my friend and an amazing photographer, completely blew my mind with the photos she took of me. They are going to be in the project in the next few months, but here is a portrait she took, and I feel a shift in the way I see myself. It will be a process, I need to keep reminding myself that focusing on the positive will be much more rewarding than the opposite. I'm excited for the project to come out, as the other photos she took of me are crazy. Crazy awesome. But yeah, here's a teaser until then! Bonne nuit!
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AuthorMy name is Marie-Christine. I'm 34 years old and live in Montreal, QC, Canada. I have had two failed hip scopes on my right hip to do undiagnosed hip dysplasia. My amazing surgeon, who is in Quebec City, performed periacetabular osteotomy in November 2017. He also did one left hip scope (non dysplastic) in February 2017. Archives
May 2018
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