GUYS! GUYSSSSSS. Yesterday was the day! I trained at my old gym for the first time since my first hip surgery. I was so nervous. More nervous than when I was heading into surgery. Seriously! I was wondering if I should cancel my appointment. On my way there, I kept telling myself that I could still turn around and go back home. I felt so out of my place when I arrived. I told my coach/friend that I felt super nervous. My PT gave him a call today to go over the things I can and cannot do. No plyometrics, not yet anyway. He wanted us to work a lot on glutes, core. And there I had it, my first training back! We did: 4 min rowers warm up tabata 20s battle ropes 10s rest 20s plank on swiss ball 10s rest x4 10 sumo squat + tire flip 10 prowler back & forth x4 10 10lbs KT swing (shoulder height) 20 pushups on TRX 30 bicep pull on TRX 40 reps ab work x2 2 min boxing 5 min stretching I was soooo out of breath. Oh man. It's not even funny! What really surprised me is how motivation makes a HUGE difference in fatigue perception. When I go to the gym on my own to do my PT stuff, I can barely reach 2 minutes. Yesterday, I was able to do 4 minutes without any pain. The hip did feel tired by the end, but nothing was painful so it really surprised me that I was able to go for double longer than what I usually do. I made sure to always take the time to engage my core and glutes before each movement. To listen to my body. My coach knows me well...we started working together years ago, and he knows how hard-headed I am, and how proud I am. I'm super competitive, especially with myself. If I was told I couldn't hold a 2 minute plank, I would do a 2 minute 10 second plank. I'd want to train like the boys. So yesterday, as I was pushing the prowler, he asked how I was doing, how my hip felt. I kept pushing, and said "good". He replied "pretty sure you'd say good no matter what". And this is when I realized that my mindset had changed. Right now, I know I have to respect my limitations. I know that I've worked too hard all these past few months to jeopardize all the effort in one training session. I want to keep moving forward, not back. So when I said good, it was because I was really, really ok. I'm really excited. It really is a new chapter in this recovery. I know there's still a long way to go...but this gave me the nudge to keep my motivation up. As soon as I got home, I iced for 30 minutes and took some Celebrex, just because I knew my hip would be irritated by all the activity it's not used to doing. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good! I then had dinner with a few of my closest friends, pre-birthday celebrations! The food was amazing...we had salmon belly sashimi, bbq pork on crispy ramen, karaage, and several shots lol. I don't go out often, but when I do, there's always shots involved hahah. Nothing starts the evening better than some sake bombs! When I say sake you say BOMB! I had such an incredible day. So happy! We even got to ride a Tesla Taxi on our way back. Montreal has this cool new taxi system where the cars are all electric. The prices are exactly the same as a regular taxi, there's an app, the drivers are super nice. It's really a cool company. I'm now anti-Uber...with all the controversy, and the fact there's so much corruption with people not paying their taxes. Teo Taxi is such a great alternative...and our driver was cool enough to show us Insane Mode hahaha. Holy crap that car goes fast. Got home and my hip was done. Training, and then sitting on the tiny hard wood stools was a lot. Good news is, this morning I feel great! Well, besides feeling SO sore. UGHHH! It actually feels good to feel this again. Hurray!
I hope those who read this are all doing great. Don't be shy to comment, give me some news, anything! It's always nice to know who's reading! Happy weekend!
2 Comments
Ha! 10 minutes before midnight...it's still Wednesday! I had a really rough week. Complete lack of motivation, and actual discouragement. I've been working so hard for the past year and a half, in the gym almost every single day doing the exercises I'm supposed to do. So much effort with not enough payback (in my own opinion) I sat on the bike and started tearing up. Just was so sick of sitting there, pedalling like I've pedalled before. 10 minutes seemed like an eternity, and I looked at the timer every few seconds hoping I'd finally hit 15 minutes. I'd skip some strengthening exercises. Shorten my reps. Stretch faster. I knew - deep down - that acting this way is a disservice to myself but I couldn't help it. I skipped one gym day, then two, then three. I did go on walks though. A long one with Oli and Monsieur B on Sunday. Then spent the day relaxing. Felt nice. But every two nights or so I'd go to bed crying my eyes out. My poor husband tried to comfort me the best he could by being a great listener, and trying to make me focus on the big picture. But I was just...I was done.
Skip to today. I had an appointment with my PT, and again, broke down the second I was asked how I was doing. And that's when I'm so grateful to have such an amazing pt. He listened, and understood where I'm coming from. And reassured me that my hip is where it's supposed to be at this stage. That my ROM is good. That my hip will react when I will do activity, possibly up to a year after surgery. That this surgery is a long one to get through. Just those words felt so reassuring. It was nice. But the best was when he told me my hip is now ready to get back to some of my old training. WHAT?!?!!!!! Ok, like...my face was all calm and whatnot, but inside I was freaking the f out. Like, what? Repeat that please? So I called my friend, who's the kinesiologist who owns the gym where I used to train at. I announced the AMAZING news and he was so happy! He and my pt will talk together so there's an action plan, and so I'm sure that I will be doing exercises that are safe for my hip. I.am.FREAKING OUT. Could not have better news. Battle ropes? YES I CAN DO THAT. Push the prowler? THAT TOO. Omgomgomgomg. I can already hear some of you saying "BE CAREFUL" and "DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD" no worries. I worked so hard to come up to this point that the last thing I want is to mess everything up, and have a setback. I think I've become a pro at listening to what my body is saying over all this post op time, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do that in the gym. Next Thursday is my appointment! Someone pinch me, this is not happening for realz. Anyway, my week went from being terribly terrible to amazingly amazing. I also received my photos from a project I'm participating in. Where I'm the subject. I HATE being the subject. My face is meant to be behind the camera, not in front. But this is an amazing project. It's called This Body of Work. Look it up. It was eye opening for me, as I've had a ton of mixed feelings about my own body over the past two years. I've gained weight, have been unkind to myself about it. This project made me take a step back and realize that we only have one body in this life, and that we should treat it nicely. Yes, I want to get back to my pre-surgery weight. Yes, I will probably feel better in my own skin then. But I need to learn to not hate the skin I'm in now. Davina, who is my friend and an amazing photographer, completely blew my mind with the photos she took of me. They are going to be in the project in the next few months, but here is a portrait she took, and I feel a shift in the way I see myself. It will be a process, I need to keep reminding myself that focusing on the positive will be much more rewarding than the opposite. I'm excited for the project to come out, as the other photos she took of me are crazy. Crazy awesome. But yeah, here's a teaser until then! Bonne nuit! I think I'm going to change my blog update day to Thursday haha. I've been terrible at staying on track. Can't believe how fast the week goes by. I just watched two hours of Grey's Anatomy (don't judge) and thought to myself "oh crap, Grey's is on Thursday...and I forgot to post!!! Speaking of time flying by...hello SIX MONTHS POST OP. It really doesn't feel like six months. On one hand, I've progressed tons (hopefully soon going to enter phase IV of Dr. Nho's protocol) but at the same time, I feel like the surgery was a month ago. I'm still unable to do any of the sports I did pre-op. Besides a little spin bike...but only when I'm alone. I know I would not be able to trust myself in a group setting. I'm way too competitive (with myself and others) to fully listen to my body and respect it's limitations. Put a ton of eagerness, people, upbeat music all together and I am for sure pushing harder than supposed to. I was just telling a fellow hip patient I met in Chicago, it's weird how one day I feel that I'm SO close to getting back to sports. And then the next, I sit on a chair without engaging my core, causing terrible pain that not even Norco can solve. Sitting. On. A. Chair. Clearly, if I can't sit on a chair without creating a lot of pain, I'm not ready for box jumps, burpees and hitting some pads. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm starting to feel as if I will never get back to being active. I gained a crap load of weight since surgery...and when I'm feeling down I tend to eat even more. Vicious cycle. But yeah, it's hard to imagine the day I will live a life that is somewhat similar to pre-injury life. June? July? October? Next year if my left hip ends up needing surgery as well? The uncertainty right now is a big downer. I try not to think about it too much. I keep busy with work. This past week has been crazy. I've been running all over the place, so much that I'm dealing with tension headaches. Ughhhhh. But, it's not all bad vibes. I'm trying to focus on the good things my hip is doing. Like how this week, for the first time in two years, I was able to hold a two minute plank. I don't like planks but... Technically I should be returning to Dr. Nho around this time for my 6 months follow up. I decided to push it by a few months. This way, I'll be able to shoot weddings and see how the hip reacts. If all hell breaks loose, at least I can talk to him about it. Anyway, I'm hoping by then, all the effort in the gym will have paid off and that I will be fine working long hours in ninja-like positions. It's FINALLY going to start being nice outside, and I can't wait! It's going to be so nice walking by the Canal with Monsieur B. More walking for him is also good for me.
Anyway, I'm half falling asleep and I have Pilates at 8 tomorrow MORNING. That is way too early for my body to be doing anything other than sleeping, or drinking coffee. Should be interesting. Goodnight! Hola hola!
Hmmm, nothing really new this week. I don't know if it's the weird weather or just some randomness, but my hip has been a bit more achey than usual. Nothing unbearable though. I've taken NSAIDs a few times, but usually ice does help a lot. I started upping the weights, and doing less reps to get more strength, and it went fairly well! Took 25lbs in each hand for reverse lunges. 35lbs for sumo squats. 20lbs one leg deadlift. I don't know when I will be able to start agility drills. I'm starting to get impatient. I feel things are going well, and I wish I could just upgrade in all my exercises. I know that it needs to be gradual, as anything too soon can create more setbacks than anything. I still have trouble walking over 10K steps per day, so I guess box jumps and burpees are not recommended at this point lol. I realize life dynamics change when you have surgery. Before, I used to work out 5-6x/week at the gym, and even gave classes there. I made amazing friends, and would see them very often. We'd go out for dinner, go for sporting activities. They're so amazing that they've continued to invite me to dinners. And I always LOVE seeing them. But there's a problem with me. I feel left out. It's not that they're leaving me out, it's just that my perception of the situation is very hard to live with. To sit there and listen to their conversations on how hard the last workout was, or how excited they are for the next challenge, it's just hard because I used to take part of those things. And I haven't in over two years now. Last time I had supper with them, I came home and cried. I know they'd feel terrible if they knew, and I don't want want them to feel bad about it. Because the world doesn't evolve around me. It's normal that they keep talking about those things. It's their reality. And don't get me wrong, I know someday I will go back and everything will fall back into place. But right now, I just think that their reality is not my reality. I remember going through these emotions during my first recovery. I was doing my exercises at PT, and the occupational therapist (who I loved!) noticed that I wasn't feeling so good. She asked what was wrong and I told her the exact same thing I wrote here tonight. And her answer was so comforting, and I think about it every time I feel this way. She said that my gym friends and I are not living the same reality now, but we will someday in the future. And that now, my gym friends may not be my "family"...but that people like her are now my family. My whole perception changed. Thanks to physical therapy, I've had the chance to meet amazing people. Just like her. I still keep in touch with her via Facebook, and I'm sure we'd have a great time if we went out for a drink! She'd often come talk to me about her wedding planning while I'd be doing my squats or stretching. Fast forward to today. I'm in the care of two physical therapists, and I'm extremely grateful for the both of them. They're completely different - personality wise and technically - but I truly enjoy their company. I'm a passionate person, and I love working with people who are as passionate in their jobs as I am with photography. I always love watching them work, and without them I'd be nowhere near where I am in my rehab right now! I must say, I hit the jackpot in terms of physical therapists lol. Two amazing ones here in Montreal, plus another in Chicago. To think that some people don't even the chance of having ONE good PT! Since I've been spending time in the gym at PT, I met with a fellow patient going through weekly treatments. We've slowly gotten to know each other...me on the bike, and her doing strengthening exercises as she ruptured her Achilles tendon. She recently added me on Facebook, and last week asked if I'd be interested in going to see a Montreal Impact soccer game with her. How fun! This reminded me, my life, my reality...it will change through time. The people I meet in each different phase won't disappear...they're simply put aside for a certain time. They still hold the same place in my heart. But having these reality changes allows me to meet different people, people I would have never met otherwise. And it's focusing on these things that will keep me sane. Bonne nuit! xo |
AuthorMy name is Marie-Christine. I'm 34 years old and live in Montreal, QC, Canada. I have had two failed hip scopes on my right hip to do undiagnosed hip dysplasia. My amazing surgeon, who is in Quebec City, performed periacetabular osteotomy in November 2017. He also did one left hip scope (non dysplastic) in February 2017. Archives
May 2018
|